The Oasis Sanctuary

posted by Sybil on Jun 23

The Start of a New Relationship

– or –

Love at OUR age???

Love at our age comes with baggage.

Folks on the internet dating sites, both male and female, who state in their profiles that don’t want folks with “baggage” are kidding themselves. Heck, let’s be real … they have baggage too!

We all do.

It is just a matter of – what have we learned from this mess we are carrying around? (And) are we ready to lay down at least the heaviest part of the load?

Honestly, I did not think that I was going to fall in love again.  But I did and continue to fall more deeply on a daily basis.

Even as I wrote about all this adventure, I see that I must have swallowed at least a bit of the societal ageist hype. In truth all I was seeking was a companion, a friend, an activity-sharing somewhat compatible soul with whom I might or might not ever become intimate.

So, where does the concept of finding that someone wherein there is a sharing of head-heart-body-and-soul enter into the above pre-conception?

I think I had given up.

That is part of my baggage.

After a number of long-term relationships, each of which had most of my needs met, I had given up on the romantic ideal of all four deep-seated needs being fulfilled.

But here is the irony: it isn’t until we get to “this age” – with the plethora of interesting life experiences – can we begin to know what we really want and need. And only at “this age” does the true concept of “forever” begin to have visible meaning. I mean, we realize at the very least that there is an ending ….and we can just almost maybe kinda see it, if we take the time to look.

Hopefully during these years we have made enough mistakes that we begin to truly see what is important. Of course, important is different for each person and each couple. But until you know what it is you can’t find someone else with similar needs, goals and desires.

I saw Jeff’s picture, read his profile and emailed him on May 21^st. Obviously there was a mutual attraction based on the photos and the words we had written. But before we ever met we had talked 50 or more hours on the phone. We probably would have met sooner but I had Oasis work and a trip to take care of first.

During those hours on the phone I learned that he is sweet and kind, accepting and flexible in his time constraints. We both found out that we have life experiences, as well as spiritual and political belief systems in common. We found that we have interests that the other has expertise in….and we look forward to learning from one another.

It is a very interesting process.

Jeff and I have spent quite a bit of time together…up to and including a five day 1000+/- round-trip motorcycling vacation. My first true vacation in over 12 years….no business, no email, no nuttin’ but relaxation, good food and laughter….and getting to know someone I will obviously and happily  be spending a great deal of time with.

In this brief amount of time, he has been to the Sanctuary and met my family of critters, the staff and a number of friends. I have been to Jeff’s home, met his dog Sarge, and visited several times with his son, daughter-in-law and grand-kids.

We are sharing photos and stories of our varied past life experiences.

We have professed love for one another. We share our innermost thoughts and secrets.

It is all so comfortable and loving and yet warm and exciting that we already hate being apart.

Where before we had each closed the heart in order not to feel the pain of aloneness…or even worse, true loneliness, now that our hearts are reawakened and the joy of sharing rekindled, the few days and nights each week we will be apart seem interminable.

Life is too short…..