The Oasis Sanctuary

posted by Sybil on May 15

Internet Dating Part Two

May 15 2009

I am in my fifth month of internet “dating” or should I call it LOOKING to date via the internet. Time to look at what I have learned once again…

I have made several friends. These are people I really enjoy speaking with, doing things with…but the “magic” …the whatever it is that moves us from the realm of friend to lover has not manifested. Sometimes it was they who didn’t wish to move forward. Sometimes it was me. But I am delighted to have these guys in my life. They are all different, we talk about and do totally different things together…but each in his own way is wonderful.

So where does this internet thing go from here?

No matter that I clearly state that I am NOT interested in a long-distance relationship, I get e-mails “I want to talk to you” and such from all over the country. This morning there was an email from Russia. If you count the e-mails from 1000 miles away or more in this country, and all the ones from other continents, I have received 3 to 1 from folks too darned far away!

That said, there really are a few guys who have written about our similarities with animals, spiritually or with riding bikes….specific things… and stated clearly they understood that we probably would never speak or meet. They just dropped a line to wish me well. Ironically those guys I do reply to. And who knows, if they ever get down this way, coffee, or a tour of the sanctuary, or a bike ride would be the order of the day.

Then there are the guys who do not post pictures. While it is true that we women are not as photographically/physically motivated, I do want to know who I am speaking with. It is polite, if nothing else, after all MY pictures are up…. And let’s be real: THEY are replying (at least in part) because they are not physically repulsed….

I am multifaceted. I know this because I work on polishing those facets throughout my life. I have a great number of disparate things I like: animal welfare and care, museums, jazz, ballet, mixed martial arts, poetry, motorcycles, antique cars, art – both viewing and creating, gardening, wildlife, books on everything from law and medicine to mindless mystery novels, television, national public radio, spirituality (as opposed to the dogma of religion,) discussing politics or economics, traveling to distant places and then the joy of coming back home….

But here is the sad thing I am learning — I think that there are people who have absolutely nothing in common with me (and write “liked your photo”) often reach out to me while people with one or two things in common don’t or won’t. I think they think that if they don’t ride a bike, I won’t go out with them…who knows?

In fact some of the people who do contact me…who hunt and fish when I state I am vegetarian…. who are strongly involved with one church or another, when I am not interested in that confinement….I don’t know why they write to me other than they felt an idealized physical attraction to a photo, or the fact that I can spell….

I have not given up. I know that out there somewhere is a man with whom I will connect with on some real level…..be it forever or for now….